On Wednesday, two Chicago Bears living legends, Matt Fortè and Devin Hester, signed one-day contracts with the team at Halas Hall to retire in the navy and orange. As a die-hard Chicago sports fan, this makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside like I just took a shot of good whisky.

Of course our team has some past issues with disrespecting legends such as when we fucked over Hall of Famer Brian Urlacher at the end of his career. When these guys both announced their retirement earlier this year, I was furious that the Bears were not offering one-day contracts. Now that they finally have, I can relax and now have true confidence in the direction our organization is heading, both on and off the field.

The Bears are 100% back.

Devin Hester

It’s so amazing to see this future hall of famer retire as a Chicago Bear. His electricity fueled the city of Chicago from 2006 to 2013.

If you’re anything like me and the Chicago Bear faithful family, you watch all 20 of his returns on YouTube on the regular. Devin will be someone I will never forget. I will forever see Hester dancing to Soujla Boy’s Crank Dat before taking it to the house.


All of the history and electricity that Hester brought to our wonderful city will be in our minds forever.

As the 2018 season slowly approaches, we finally have some Hester-like magic in little speedster, Tarik Cohen. It’s a great time to be a Bears fan.



Matt Fortè

You can’t say enough great things about Matt Fortè. On the best running back franchise there ever has been and ever will be, Fortè was the complete back that defines Bears football. He was the bread and butter of our football team for years.

Seeing #22 retire as a Bear is such a beautiful thing. You can never forget seeing this man plow into the endzone and open his arms in celebration.


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