By Nick Giovannelli –
For about a few weeks now there have been rumors swirling around that the White Sox are interested in the Mike Moustakas. And last night, there was another rumor that the Sox are looking to bring in Carlos Gonzalez who happens to be represented by the same agent that works with Moustakas (Scott Boras). The report also suggested that the Sox could SIGN BOTH players. First things first, I hate that rat fuck Boras. I want the sox to deal with him as little as possible. Second, why is Kenny Williams making decisions? Now it’s not confirmed that Williams is whispering these sweet nothings into Reinsdorf’s ear at night. But let’s be honest here, this is a Kenny Williams move.
Hahn would not try and deter from the rebuild, his career literally depends on this working out. So it wouldn’t make sense for Hahn to make a 2015 White Sox move and sign these guys. These signings would be so ridiculous and unwarranted that the smart fandom would turn away from the team. And I mean, they’re just awful signings anyway. Moustakas played out of his fucking skull last year. 38 bombs, 85 RBIs, and a .272 AVG.
Carlos Gonzalez on the other hand is a disaster in the making. In 2016, Gonzalez had a MONSTER year but saw a massive dip in most stat lines last year. He is also 32 and is exiting his prime and would most likely only play DH who the Sox need. If you’re gonna ask my for my opinion, there is only one player you need to bring in to play DH. I’m talking about the man, the myth, the legend, THE MELKMAN!!!!!!!!!! FUCK IT, WHO CARES! WERE GONNA SUCK IN 2018 AND YOU’RE GONNA LIKE ENOUGH OF THIS WINNING SHIT! GIVE ME MELKY AND LETS FUCKING PARTY!!!!!!!!!!